Busy Busy

Way too much going on, but I think that's a good thing. To catch you up on the weekend, it was fun. Ok, that's it. lol. Ah, Friday we made zucchini muffins. J wanted to use the automatic dispenser and promptly squirted bits of the muffin mix straight into the sink. Won't do that again. He's so fun to cook with. Crazy but fun. We realized we didn't have enough muffins to eat, share with J & P and take to both our offices, so I made another batch on Sunday. Saturday we ran our requisite errands, chilled and napped, then went to hang with J & P. Played a new game called Blokus, which is pretty strategic and mind numbing, especially after consuming alcohol. Fun though. Sunday started with breakfast with the folks, followed up by a kick-ass workout at the gym. The house got tidied, chores were done and a tasty nap was had. So there wraps up the weekend.

This whole week is busy with fun stuff and work, so we're taking advantage of tonight and tomorrow night to do not much of anything but chill. Thursday my sister's coming over for us to experiment with cooking indian food together for dinner. Should be interesting since even though I am an excellent cook, I have never delved into the world of indian cuisine. Friday night I am supposed to 'bring the fun', to quote my neighbor, to a neighborhood party for the women on the block. Not sure why she's relying on me to bring the fun. Do I look like someone who knows how to do that? Maybe I don't know where to find the fun. Maybe I ran out of fun. What if I can't bring any over? Will I be banned? Such a big responsibility. Ack! Saturday morning will find us chillin', tidying and napping, in preparation for J&P coming over on Halloween. We'll have to figure out what to dress up in, to scare the little kiddies knocking on the door. Still gotta get candy, too. J will likely wear his sweatshirt that says 'happy halloween', (go spirit!) and we'll need to turn on the spooky music, too. Pass out candy, scare the kids, get lit, should be good times for all. Except the little kiddies. hahaha. Sunday morning we're going to lunch to celebrate the in-laws' birthdays, followed by another family commitment on my side of the road. Crazy, filled-up week. Don't get me wrong, I love seeing everyone and having stuff to do. I feel so fortunate to know the people I know and catch up with everyone. But I must admit, once in a great while, a deep blue moon, how I would love, love, love to just have one solid weekend to have the leisure of crawling out of bed, grabbing coffee, maybe breafast, then going back to bed. Then, about 4 hours later, maybe crawling back out of bed for coffee and a smoke, then perhaps crawling back into bed. How fabulous that would be, to just lollygag, really sloth, for just for one full weekend. Mmmmmm, I can almost taste it now. I don't think I'll ever see that, though. I'm too much of a 'gotta get this done' kind of person. Damnit. I'm in my own way of successful slothness. Hmm. Ciao.

Happenings

Hey Peeps!
What's new, you ask? Well, here's the list:
* I haven't written since early September
* Mike came home for a visit from Kuwait, two days after his 19th birthday
* Mike got married four days after he came home from his visit from Kuwait
* We survived the above news
* We all went to VA Beach to enjoy a few days together. Mike and I both lost, and found, our cell phones. He is so much like his mama. Poor kid.
* J and I got all shades of excited about a five acre peice of property and put an offer in. We did not get it. Damnit.
* We got gun-shy and decided to hold off on buying additional land right now
* We're going to spend a bit and do the addition on the house in the meantime
* We have no idea how to do an addition on a house
* We have pics drawn but no hallways for one to get from this old room to that new one. Proves to be a fun but interesting challenge
* I have yet to quit smoking
* I will quit, for fuck's sake, AGAIN, this Monday. Justified by the fact that I am driving for probably 16 hours this weekend and a quit while spending that much time in the car with my lovely spouse is not the wisest route to marital semi-bliss
* We will leave at 4am Saturday to begin such drive, to TN to meet the baby neice and hug my darling sister, brother in law and nephews
* We came home Monday night to teeny-tiny ants all over the living room. This happens at the beginning of every season, as they look for cooler or warmer homes when the weather changes. We killed them all and sprayed the perimeter. fuckers.
* We will carve pumpkins next week. yaaaaay
* I love my job, still, even though it makes me want to scream and tear my hair out
* We got DVR for $10. a month and I don't know how we ever did without it
* My toilet keeps making funny noises. WTF?!
* My Casey Dog is terrified of the flashing light on the school buses. She runs to hide because she thinks it's lightening. She thinks the same of cameras. Chicken.
* We came home last night to teeny-tiny ants all over the kitchen counter. Damnit! They migrated since they were banned from the living room. AND, the house is already clean. Ugh! Every season, for fuck's sake! The neighbor told us years ago that the entire development was built on one big ant hill. Nice. Great planning, guys. We killed the little bastards and sprayed and double sprayed the perimeter.
* I wish my babygirl lived in Northern VA. Miss her.
* Gotta go fix the toilet noise now.

Ok, so as you can see, there's plenty going on in our neck of the suburbs. Peace!

Lazy Monday Babble

Whoever came up with this Labor Day idea was brilliant. I'm sitting in my jammies, drinking coffee and writing in my blog. Not working. On Monday. Nice. The boy made it home safely from Kuwait for his visit. Friday was amazing, as we pulled up to the airport and saw the only man outside in combat uniform. Our kid. Saturday we chilled and had our favorite folks over, who witnessed our boy ask his girl to marry him. We have pretty mixed emotions about this. Actually, that's false. We do not agree with this. He's too young. She's too young. Blah blah blah. I'm sure that's how it sounds to them. The preaching is done. We can stress over the next two weeks and not enjoy our son's visit, not knowing exactly when we'll see him again, or we can accept the fact that he will do what he wants to do. We choose to do the latter. So it's somewhat of a big pink elephant in the room. A little bit. The visit is, so far, not as tension-filled and stress-filled as I thought it might be, with this topic hanging in the air like a dense fog. Rather, it's light, fun, relaxing and just such a joy to see his happy face. He is happy. At the end of the day, that is all I've ever wanted for my family. All of them. I pray that they are making the right decision. I've met couples who have been happily married for 45 years, and when you ask their story, they'll tell you they got married at 18, right before or after he joined the army, navy, etc. Their chances are slim, but they have a chance. Having just one son who we love more than ever can be expressed with words, we feel so stuck and have no path but to support him. This is the absolute crux of parenting. Work your ass off, love, sacrifice, rinse, repeat. For 18 or some odd years. Stand back during various times of this process, with no control and pray,pray,pray for the right outcome. The safe and happy outcome. The least painful outcome for your (man)child. I talked to my daughter last night and she cried. She is angry at her brother for making a 'stupid' decision and perhaps repeating some of my errors after I worked my ass off to try and teach them a better way of life. Who's to say it was a mistake, though? Had I not run off and got married at 17 (like a dumbass), would I have eventually given birth to their spirits anyway? Who knows? My life is as it is today, and it's marvelous. Wouldn't change a moment of it because it made me who I am. I can only pray that in 20 years, my darling son (still married to his young bride) and darling daughter can say the same. Meanwhile, I will continue to love them and support them and stand back, hands tied, dole out heaping helpings of unsolicited advice, and hope their decisions treat them well. Peace out!!

I'm no quitter! Not yet, anyway.

So we go to Arkansas for J's work convention and we're sleeping in a travel/xanax induced coma. It's well after midnight and we get a frantic call from our son's girlfriend..."It's sort of an emergency and Mike's going to call you." Ok, let's lay some ground rules here. When someone has a son or daughter in the military, deployed somewhat close to the goings on of war, the word "emergency" should only be used if it's a well, a real emergency!! So Mike calls and says he's been given 5 minutes to decide if he wants to come home in September..in 3 WEEKS! rather than in November. Unreal. I'm half asleep, trying to process this. Hell yeah, come home!! So our son is coming home and all is right with the world. My quit smoking plans are set, then it comes. The call about 'Mom, I'm going to get married on this visit.' Really? I go outside and chain smoke while I try not to pass out. I have made it my life goal to help prevent my kids from having the same struggles I've had, much like most parents, I think. This trumps it all. So after much heated conversation and hang ups and call backs and texts and emails and omg enough...the topic has been dropped for now. He has decided he won't do it this time around. (insert prayer here)

That being said, yes, my quit date was two days ago. Yes, I am about to go fire one of those bad boys up. My darling son will be home in roughly 2 weeks and it's the best news I have had all year. The better news will be that when he leaves to return to Kuwait, his girlfriend will not be with (his)child and they will not be married. So if I find the need to go out back and have a cigarette or four, then so be it. Whatever keeps me sane. We need to see that he has a fabulous visit, while maintaining the fabulous single life that a young, handsome, 19 (happy birthday!!) year old soldier should have. Damn. Can't wait to see his face. Anyone seen my lighter?

13 Days

That's right. I am once again counting down to a quit smoking date. Until I have the habit kicked, I will commit this blog to writing out my ever-so-frustrating journey with the awful drug - nicotine. It sucks. When you have one, you wish you didn't. When you can't have one, you want one. A friend of mine at work came in yesterday to say his dad was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer. Granted, he is 88 years old and has far surpassed the average life expectancy of the average man, but still. It's likely related to the 35 years of smoking he 'enjoyed' during his earlier years. He will basically suffocate to death. Slowly. They will provide him with enough morphine so that he doesn't panic when he cannot get enough oxygen and his organs begin to fail. If they haven't, already. I have probably 'tried' to quit about 40 times. Easily. The patch, hypnosis, wellbutrin, cold turkey, lobelia, the inhaler, etc. No dice. At the end of the day, I lit one. Sometimes after months of abstaining, sometimes after just hours. During the first few hours, I feel clean. Liberated. Then someone gets on my nerves, the blood pressure rises, my face gets hot and I just want to say 'fuck you', walk away and light one up. Won't do that this time around. I can't. Let's not kid ourselves, I'm turning 38 in a couple of days and yeah, sucking in this 'all natural tobacco' smoke will eventually take its toll on my body. The good news is that I do take my vitamins, drink water, attempt to eat pretty healthy and work out on a regular basis. Hopefully, those measures will counteract any negative affects the smoking would have had on my body already, and quitting will keep me from getting sick from it in the long run. Quit date? Monday, 8/17/09. So why not now? Well, Thursday is my birthday, so of course I'll have a couple of drinks. Why set myself up for failure? Excuse, I know. Who cares?! So, I'm honest. Saturday night, we're goin' out for the birthday, Sunday we're going out of town for the week and will in an environment where drinks will be served every night in a light 'happy hour' environment, outside. Where I can smoke. I want to enjoy the time away and not stress about "I will not smoke" during our trip. All excuses, but it will be easier to quit when I'm home, back in my element without the added temptations. Method? Just plain old strength, prayer, rest, meditation, etc.

I'll have to change the routine around a bit, I imagine. Coffee and a smoke in the morning? No more. Maybe a bowl of cereal with coffee, instead. I'll get more sleep and do stuff to keep the hands busy and the brain occupied. I've already switched from the dreaded Marlboro's with all of their added killer chemicals, to the still icky but at least natural American Spirits. So I won't be dealing with whatever they put in the Marlboro's to make them super addictive. That's a bonus. J and I have dubbed this year, our year of purging. Along those lines, I will spend the end of summer and the entire fall season purging my body of toxins and teaching myself how to live a cleaner life, free of cigarettes. Jeeez, I should save a few bucks, too. Those 'pure' cigarettes are damn expensive!

There are all around positives to quitting, but my concerns are:
*gaining weight: I will need to work out super hard, every day
*dropped energy levels: folks say when you quit, you gain energy. It is my experience that I feel a lot more tired and lethargic when I don't smoke.
*depression: I do not normally deal with depression. In fact, if you know me, this concern would surprise you. Actually, whenever I quit, I deal with it a lot. Something to do with the brain chemical levels, I'm sure.

If I can trudge through those issues, one day and one issue at a time, I should be able to kick this habit once and for all. Damnit! So done with "I'm going to quit". Really done. Stay tuned for more rants as the countdown wanes on. 13 days..

Rebecca's health care story

Rebecca's health care story

I do not have my own story about how health care has affected my life adversely. I am writing from a professional perspective. I am the HR Director for a small business and see the effects of the COBRA stimulus efforts and the message it sends to less than good employees. The rules state that if an employee is involuntarily terminated for reasons other than misconduct, the employee qualifies for 65% contribution from the government, and they only have to pay 35% of their COBRA premiums for up to 9 months. The problem is, there is no clear idea of 'misconduct'. The state unemployment laws are equally unnerving. If I terminate an employee for clear disregard of attendance rules, for example - showing up late, leaving whenever they want, taking excessive time off, and in general being an all around slacker employee, they are involuntarily terminated. They still qualify for unemployment benefits and the 65% contribution toward their COBRA benefits because misconduct generally means theft, violence, drug use, etc. Not basic violation of company policies such as attendance. So, we are sending the message to lazy employees that it's ok to do less than average work and live off the laurels of other people. My suggestion would be for the administration to implement clear guidelines as to what

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Well, well, look who's here!

That's right, Team, it's me! Where the hell have I been, right?! Working, playing around, mulching, blah blah blah. Great stuff but nothing very specific. Let's see, I last left off in April so let me recap. May rocked! I went to Williamsburg over Mother's Day weekend to hang out with my girl and we shopped for about 9 hours straight at the outlets there. Insane. I almost peed on myself in one of the dressing rooms, and she didn't help at all, as she made dripping sounds and talked of oceans and pools. I hate shopping and mostly trying stuff on, but she made me pick out some great stuff, so my closet is pretty happy right now. Sadly enough for my wallet. Hmm, what else did I do in May? Besides cook some great meals with my Hammy, spend time with our favorite people, laughed and got tipsy with co-workers at happy hour, weeded and mulched around the gazebo, mopped my house about 35 times because of my lovely dog's muddy footprints from the torrential rains we've had....uh, I think that about wraps it up. And that's enough, isn't it? Now for June. Since it's not quite over yet, there may be more to come. For now, June has been ok. Up and down. My father in law landed himself in the hospital with sepsis and we found out he had a minor heart attack and now has congestive heart failure. He's one of the sharpest, wittiest guys I know and it's hard to see him under the weather. He's home now and the mom in law is taking great care of him. This leaves J having to come to terms with seeing his dad in a weaker state than perhaps he's ever seen him. His mom too. He said he has to be strong and all that, but he knows he can let it out if he needs to. For now, we're checking in with them a few times a week and may even challenge them to some dominoes this Sunday. I think the true test may be if the dad can play poker tomorrow night. That's it folks, all caught up.

Now for the topic of religion. I know, I know, I'm gone for 8 weeks then all of a sudden I just want to bend your ear. Or eyes, which sounds even more grotesque. So, those who know me well enough, know that I don't categorize myself as Christian, Catholic, whatever. I have faith, my higher power rocks and takes care of me and mine, and yours and all that and so forth and so on and wherewithtoandforevermore. I have always had an interest, a fascination if you will, in buddhism. Not sure why, but I have. Forever. I was chatting with a co-worker yesterday about it, since she's buddhist and we got into the topic of karma and reincarnation. She was telling me how all of the seeds that determine everything we do in this life, were planted a long, long time ago. All predetermined. And everything we do in this life will determine our next. If that's the case, is there free will? Are our decisions predetermined or just the situations? And the decisions we make about those already planted scenarios, are those what will determine our path for a future life? The whole thing seems quite confusing so I think I need to find a Buddhism for Dummies book and check it out. That's the ticket. I may check out a Buddhist temple, but J and I have gone to one before and frankly, to see everyone outside in their robes was intimidating, so we just gawked and drove away. Like yard-salers do. This will be a self-study kind of thing. Open book tests and the like.

The Beerfest is this weekend and J and I are volunteering. We're on the yellow team, hoorah!! Does that mean we'll be all pissy? What does that MEAN? Not sure what we'll be doing there, but whatever it is, we'll do it until about 3pm, then collect our free beer tickets and hit the booths. Oh, joy and wonder! By then, the other patrons will be lit and it will be prime people watching!!

I'm feeling the urge to cook some stuff up this weekend. Not sure what, just to cook. Maybe some greek wedding soup or a good crab chowder for the Hammy Head. He loves that stuff! Looking forward to a great weekend.....our babygirl is coming home for some much needed parental lovin', we'll see some of our favorite folks, watch drunk people in hot weather, maybe garden, catch up on sleep and enjoy life all around. Hell, I might even write in my blog again. Imagine. Peace out!